Lost?

SO I can feel that there is a sense of knowing that I am doing the "right" thing.... yet the struggles of my day where I feel as if I am pushing a stone up a mountain would tell me that I am working to hard and going against the grain of my lifes path.

I ask the universe today to give me a hint of what is to come... what will be... and to fill me up with hope and woner of what is to come..instead of dread that my lifes choices will continue to drain the light right out of me.

My dear friend emailed me today...sent me a HUGE bucket of love and light that was amazing. Today that was my blessing I know... and a treasur for sure. He is a gifted artist and gentle soul that through the chaos of his life has remained more human than most. I am srating to belive that those of us that see life through broken lenses are the gifted ones... and that what we can see is much more closer to the truth...

I am here waiting to know what impact I am supposed to make in this world wih hte gifts and talents that I have been generously given. I strive for patience, understaning and forgiveness... my largest hurdles being patience. I want what I want and I want it now. Yes I am an American and have been told by my Maernal grandmother that I CAN have anythign I want and BE anything I want... All I know is that I want ot feel significant... and positive. I want to be on the wave of light and change that brings peace and healing... I mean who doesnt?

There is a deep sadness that is like a virus in the eyes of Americans that thought they were on the right track, but are now struggling so hard and scratching thier heads in awe and frustration at thier current circumstnces. So now I have to choose gas or food?

Who here doesn't want the sweet escape to that place that feeds us all? WHo is the one that started this perpetuated lie that being a hard worker and paying your bills is the right thing? That loving your children and wanting the best of all lifes opportunities for them would feel limited by the financial buden of your past indulgences. YES you can have it! Here here here...
I feel much like a 4 year old after consuming too much candy... I am sick... no what? Scream in the the boosum of my mother to cry out and be saved through her comfort? OR stand here alone with my own hand on my stomach and embrace teh discomfort and simply celebrate the depth of the lesson this could be. I will never again eat too much... or will I?