In thinking about relationships, I think it impossible to find a human being without baggage of some kind. Baggage is simply what we have collected and kept with us out of desire or need to posses it. Sometimes it is something we consciously choose...sometimes it is something we don't know how to look at so we just toss it in the bag and keep walking. Each person walking, collecting... every day they get the chance to live and be here adds something, or maybe its the process of releasing pieces to make room for something we assume we will treasure more... but are destined to release in the future...
ALL that obscurity aside... when looking for a mate, don't seek to find someone without baggage... instead just look for someone with baggage that matches your own. That way when you both go home at night you can each drop your bags in the middle of the room in plain sight... knowing what it is in its familiarity and simply accepting it. Then its not a hurdle to be explained away...yes, EVEN when company comes over. Worst case... shoot for something that at least coordinates... because there is no way someone that has blue plaid luggage will understand or embrace your beloved orange paisley... but orange stripes just might work.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Lost wisdom?
In order to preserve the "wisdom(?)" I have gained in my 6 year Mom training intensive, I wanted to share...
1) It is more important to park next to the cart return than the front door or the store when grocery shopping with small kids.
2) Sippy cups that are easy to clean outrank ones that "never" leak.
3) If its moldy... throw it out. Don't care what it is, but it will never be the same.
4) From the minute they are born, children takes small steps towards independence, and thusly small steps away from you.
5) If kids are hungry they will eat and a hungry kid with a snack is a content one... even at the DMV.
6) Attempting to prematurely anticipate needs frustrates and overloads kids. Need is not a bad thing... Never feeling in need teaches kids that feeling in need is to be avoided at all costs... when in reality in life it is the hungry man that seeks food. Where else does natural motivation grow more vibrantly? Learning to listen to, accept and address t voices of need within us is a step towards a more fufilled life is it not?
7) An extra outfit and a towel in the car is never a bad idea. Ever.
8) Newborns are amazing hands down , but when weighed against a kid covered in gosh knows what rainbow sticky goo grinning from ear to ear in the pride of thier "creation" there is no clear winner.
9) My kids are the greatest ever...period.
10) Sometimes there is shit on the floor. Literaly. Yes, Its gross...no way around it. It just IS.
11) I have learned the most from those that I like the least...and soemtimes from the ugly parts of those I love the most.
12) My grandparents have been in most of my beloved childhood memories. I have them AND my parents to thank for that.
13) You don't exactly have the right to happiness... but you have RIGHT NOW the choice to find the happiness in the moment you are standing in RIGHT now. Even if it is just the cup of coffee you have wedged between to hands that are white knuckling tight as you absorb the high pitched screams of your morning starting off in the wrong direction.
14) Sometimes, you need to give them an Ice Cream sundae. Just because it is the RIGHT thing to do.
15) Strive to be who, where and what you want to be, but don't forget to love who you are because that is who will carry you there.
16) SLeep is divine.
17) Let them just be, so wen they grow up they know how to breathe.
1) It is more important to park next to the cart return than the front door or the store when grocery shopping with small kids.
2) Sippy cups that are easy to clean outrank ones that "never" leak.
3) If its moldy... throw it out. Don't care what it is, but it will never be the same.
4) From the minute they are born, children takes small steps towards independence, and thusly small steps away from you.
5) If kids are hungry they will eat and a hungry kid with a snack is a content one... even at the DMV.
6) Attempting to prematurely anticipate needs frustrates and overloads kids. Need is not a bad thing... Never feeling in need teaches kids that feeling in need is to be avoided at all costs... when in reality in life it is the hungry man that seeks food. Where else does natural motivation grow more vibrantly? Learning to listen to, accept and address t voices of need within us is a step towards a more fufilled life is it not?
7) An extra outfit and a towel in the car is never a bad idea. Ever.
8) Newborns are amazing hands down , but when weighed against a kid covered in gosh knows what rainbow sticky goo grinning from ear to ear in the pride of thier "creation" there is no clear winner.
9) My kids are the greatest ever...period.
10) Sometimes there is shit on the floor. Literaly. Yes, Its gross...no way around it. It just IS.
11) I have learned the most from those that I like the least...and soemtimes from the ugly parts of those I love the most.
12) My grandparents have been in most of my beloved childhood memories. I have them AND my parents to thank for that.
13) You don't exactly have the right to happiness... but you have RIGHT NOW the choice to find the happiness in the moment you are standing in RIGHT now. Even if it is just the cup of coffee you have wedged between to hands that are white knuckling tight as you absorb the high pitched screams of your morning starting off in the wrong direction.
14) Sometimes, you need to give them an Ice Cream sundae. Just because it is the RIGHT thing to do.
15) Strive to be who, where and what you want to be, but don't forget to love who you are because that is who will carry you there.
16) SLeep is divine.
17) Let them just be, so wen they grow up they know how to breathe.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
OPD
WHy is it that Other Peoples Drama seems so simple to solve and yet here I sit like a monkey with a math problem over my own? I just need someone else to come in & be a consultant on my life....
Yes, a new hamper system & lable maker to label drawers would give you hours of your life back... go ahead & splurge as it is a WISE investment... ohhhhhhhmmmmmmmm.
I know... it is the experience of living that rewards you with personal growth and maturity.... But I find these days I am simply fighting to get back to playing more and feeding that little kid within me... seems so wrong to fight so hard to advance when really I would prefer in a very personal way to regress....
COffee & Brownies make for great "Its going to be a great day" food. SOmething amazing is happening today... I should shower so I am ready for it....
Yes, a new hamper system & lable maker to label drawers would give you hours of your life back... go ahead & splurge as it is a WISE investment... ohhhhhhhmmmmmmmm.
I know... it is the experience of living that rewards you with personal growth and maturity.... But I find these days I am simply fighting to get back to playing more and feeding that little kid within me... seems so wrong to fight so hard to advance when really I would prefer in a very personal way to regress....
COffee & Brownies make for great "Its going to be a great day" food. SOmething amazing is happening today... I should shower so I am ready for it....
Monday, September 29, 2008
Lost?
SO I can feel that there is a sense of knowing that I am doing the "right" thing.... yet the struggles of my day where I feel as if I am pushing a stone up a mountain would tell me that I am working to hard and going against the grain of my lifes path.
I ask the universe today to give me a hint of what is to come... what will be... and to fill me up with hope and woner of what is to come..instead of dread that my lifes choices will continue to drain the light right out of me.
My dear friend emailed me today...sent me a HUGE bucket of love and light that was amazing. Today that was my blessing I know... and a treasur for sure. He is a gifted artist and gentle soul that through the chaos of his life has remained more human than most. I am srating to belive that those of us that see life through broken lenses are the gifted ones... and that what we can see is much more closer to the truth...
I am here waiting to know what impact I am supposed to make in this world wih hte gifts and talents that I have been generously given. I strive for patience, understaning and forgiveness... my largest hurdles being patience. I want what I want and I want it now. Yes I am an American and have been told by my Maernal grandmother that I CAN have anythign I want and BE anything I want... All I know is that I want ot feel significant... and positive. I want to be on the wave of light and change that brings peace and healing... I mean who doesnt?
There is a deep sadness that is like a virus in the eyes of Americans that thought they were on the right track, but are now struggling so hard and scratching thier heads in awe and frustration at thier current circumstnces. So now I have to choose gas or food?
Who here doesn't want the sweet escape to that place that feeds us all? WHo is the one that started this perpetuated lie that being a hard worker and paying your bills is the right thing? That loving your children and wanting the best of all lifes opportunities for them would feel limited by the financial buden of your past indulgences. YES you can have it! Here here here...
I feel much like a 4 year old after consuming too much candy... I am sick... no what? Scream in the the boosum of my mother to cry out and be saved through her comfort? OR stand here alone with my own hand on my stomach and embrace teh discomfort and simply celebrate the depth of the lesson this could be. I will never again eat too much... or will I?
I ask the universe today to give me a hint of what is to come... what will be... and to fill me up with hope and woner of what is to come..instead of dread that my lifes choices will continue to drain the light right out of me.
My dear friend emailed me today...sent me a HUGE bucket of love and light that was amazing. Today that was my blessing I know... and a treasur for sure. He is a gifted artist and gentle soul that through the chaos of his life has remained more human than most. I am srating to belive that those of us that see life through broken lenses are the gifted ones... and that what we can see is much more closer to the truth...
I am here waiting to know what impact I am supposed to make in this world wih hte gifts and talents that I have been generously given. I strive for patience, understaning and forgiveness... my largest hurdles being patience. I want what I want and I want it now. Yes I am an American and have been told by my Maernal grandmother that I CAN have anythign I want and BE anything I want... All I know is that I want ot feel significant... and positive. I want to be on the wave of light and change that brings peace and healing... I mean who doesnt?
There is a deep sadness that is like a virus in the eyes of Americans that thought they were on the right track, but are now struggling so hard and scratching thier heads in awe and frustration at thier current circumstnces. So now I have to choose gas or food?
Who here doesn't want the sweet escape to that place that feeds us all? WHo is the one that started this perpetuated lie that being a hard worker and paying your bills is the right thing? That loving your children and wanting the best of all lifes opportunities for them would feel limited by the financial buden of your past indulgences. YES you can have it! Here here here...
I feel much like a 4 year old after consuming too much candy... I am sick... no what? Scream in the the boosum of my mother to cry out and be saved through her comfort? OR stand here alone with my own hand on my stomach and embrace teh discomfort and simply celebrate the depth of the lesson this could be. I will never again eat too much... or will I?
Twilight
Perfection in your design of no color, no beginning no end no distraction of sight
so comforting is the coolness that blankets me
So divine that you anchor me to almost float but never move
So clever to nourish me only with so little to never waste a drop
This must be a heaven created for me… but if I was dead, then what is this damn flicker within me.
If only the night could extinguish this damn heat inside of me
I must keep the cool blankets of the night held tight in my fists to keep me safe
as my thoughts wander on how to extinguish the flame it grow
tighter & tighter I pull my blankets closer…. Take this heat out of my chest I have no use for it
as I sit & ponder how I can free myself of this burden, I start to wonder how it got there
My friend would never torture me with such pain
I know what fire is I think as I saw it once in a dream and I know it does not belong here…
Oh sweet friend, are you angry I have this heat with me?
Should I take it away?
the light that is growing within me will surely leak out…rip through my skin and ruin my heaven
Oh fickle paradise… I should take this away and save you for the gifts you have given me.
with deepest gratitude I must save you… I will stand now and free you of the burden of me
and yet the blankets feel so heavy… I must be dying .. This pain of this fire is killing me
I have to leave… but I can't move… in the most desperate of moments I hear something
it is a sound of screaming… and it is coming form the fire .. From me
the most desperate plea… I have to save my friend…scream scream scream at me & get me to move
I scream until the sound stops… which makes me pause. I had removed the blankets in my fervor
then I realize the destruction has begun.. My eyes are open.
I turn my head and with that the most intense pain shot straight though my head...my eyes are open.
There is a glistening that has begun to tear apart the horizon of my home
blinking maddeningly I struggle to understand what I see… and realize the light must be coming from me.
This poison pouring out of me starts drawing lines and I sob as I watch the home I have loved crumble
I cry an the warmth is washing over me… I am surely dying… and this newly illuminated place I don’t know must be hell.
overwhelmed with disorientation I flail my arms out in an effort to find that blanket of coolness…
I reach out for cold comfort and the reassurance of void, aching to anchor again
there is something there… something warm.. Even hot to the touch… a warmth that is familiar… like that flicker within
though this is not my safe place, there is a familiarity to it, a deeper knowing that I should turn my head
a sense that I will turn around and see the light within me…
I turn my head to see, and there is something there .. No wait someone there.
I know her… is she here to help me find my way back to the darkness… ?
I finally have the help I have longed for… friend… I am getting warm… help me
suddenly I find a hand holding mine…gently but firmly I start feeling a breeze and realize I am moving
I am not going toward the night… I am being pulled away… wait… let go please
this is too bright… my eyes.. Are straining to see… the outlines of the world around me coming to life…
The warmth surges through me and finally I can see… I am not dead… I am finally alive
I find myself in the twilight of morning surrounded by a weird world that was here all along hidden from me…
Cruel night, I am betrayed…as I begin to hate you, with gratitude I have to leave you...
With the simple loving touch of a friend I am set free from a prison I didn't understand,
with deepest gratitude and loyalty I will walk beside you to protect you from the night that will surely come again.
so comforting is the coolness that blankets me
So divine that you anchor me to almost float but never move
So clever to nourish me only with so little to never waste a drop
This must be a heaven created for me… but if I was dead, then what is this damn flicker within me.
If only the night could extinguish this damn heat inside of me
I must keep the cool blankets of the night held tight in my fists to keep me safe
as my thoughts wander on how to extinguish the flame it grow
tighter & tighter I pull my blankets closer…. Take this heat out of my chest I have no use for it
as I sit & ponder how I can free myself of this burden, I start to wonder how it got there
My friend would never torture me with such pain
I know what fire is I think as I saw it once in a dream and I know it does not belong here…
Oh sweet friend, are you angry I have this heat with me?
Should I take it away?
the light that is growing within me will surely leak out…rip through my skin and ruin my heaven
Oh fickle paradise… I should take this away and save you for the gifts you have given me.
with deepest gratitude I must save you… I will stand now and free you of the burden of me
and yet the blankets feel so heavy… I must be dying .. This pain of this fire is killing me
I have to leave… but I can't move… in the most desperate of moments I hear something
it is a sound of screaming… and it is coming form the fire .. From me
the most desperate plea… I have to save my friend…scream scream scream at me & get me to move
I scream until the sound stops… which makes me pause. I had removed the blankets in my fervor
then I realize the destruction has begun.. My eyes are open.
I turn my head and with that the most intense pain shot straight though my head...my eyes are open.
There is a glistening that has begun to tear apart the horizon of my home
blinking maddeningly I struggle to understand what I see… and realize the light must be coming from me.
This poison pouring out of me starts drawing lines and I sob as I watch the home I have loved crumble
I cry an the warmth is washing over me… I am surely dying… and this newly illuminated place I don’t know must be hell.
overwhelmed with disorientation I flail my arms out in an effort to find that blanket of coolness…
I reach out for cold comfort and the reassurance of void, aching to anchor again
there is something there… something warm.. Even hot to the touch… a warmth that is familiar… like that flicker within
though this is not my safe place, there is a familiarity to it, a deeper knowing that I should turn my head
a sense that I will turn around and see the light within me…
I turn my head to see, and there is something there .. No wait someone there.
I know her… is she here to help me find my way back to the darkness… ?
I finally have the help I have longed for… friend… I am getting warm… help me
suddenly I find a hand holding mine…gently but firmly I start feeling a breeze and realize I am moving
I am not going toward the night… I am being pulled away… wait… let go please
this is too bright… my eyes.. Are straining to see… the outlines of the world around me coming to life…
The warmth surges through me and finally I can see… I am not dead… I am finally alive
I find myself in the twilight of morning surrounded by a weird world that was here all along hidden from me…
Cruel night, I am betrayed…as I begin to hate you, with gratitude I have to leave you...
With the simple loving touch of a friend I am set free from a prison I didn't understand,
with deepest gratitude and loyalty I will walk beside you to protect you from the night that will surely come again.
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